The Discipleship Training School was an answer to an unspoken prayer. Dani and I had talked before about wanting to take time out from our ‘regular’ lives to concentrate on learning more about God, biblically and practically. So when the Marine Reach Fiji staff announced that they intended to run a school in 2015 (and subtly suggested we could be students) it wasn’t for some time that I realised God was giving us what we had been hoping for in our hearts – an opportunity to focus on Him without distraction in order to know Him better and understand His plan for our lives.

And so we embarked on four and a half months of teaching and practice that is geared to educate, probe, release and challenge us. As we’ve written about previously it was a bit of manic start, straight off the back of an outreach and the disaster relief trip to Vanuatu. We were plunged into an environment where we were constantly surrounded by 10 adults and 7 children, with another 15 regulars dropping in on a daily basis. As a newly married couple from the UK we’re just not used to that level of activity! So there was a period of adjustment, but gradually we came to value the people around us rather than see them as an infringement on our personal space. Before long there was a strong feeling of unity amongst the students, staff and their families as we sought to engage with the teaching.

The visiting speakers opened up aspects of Christian life to us that I now feel ought to be part of every regular church ministry, but which are often not taught in my experience. Learning about areas such as worship, family, forgiveness, addiction and authority based on Biblical principles provided much clarity where previously I was just fumbling my way along with my own vague concepts. It became clear that once we start doing things in the ways God shows us then we draw closer to living the kind of life we were designed for, and it just feels right.

Of course, human nature tends to resist. I found the temptation to distract myself with the usual diversions (fixing computers and phones, IT work at the office) quite powerful and at times I lost that battle, meaning that moments I could have devoted to reflecting on the teaching were spent with a screwdriver or solder iron in my hand. Eventually though, even that area of resistance crumbled and I found that there was clear and definite progress being made in my personal life. Dani was also making her own breakthroughs and inevitably this had positive effects on our relationship as a couple. We would talk about aspects of ourselves that would have been unlikely to arise through normal conversation and our improved communication led to better understanding.

It was, for lack of a better description, quite scary seeing real evidence of God working in our lives once we made the room for Him to speak, without the distractions and backward prioritisations I usually use to justify avoiding time with Him. But I realised something about myself which is echoed in the Bible. I presumed that once a person sees overwhelming physical signs of God working in the world, such as those who witnessed Jesus performing miracles, it would be inevitable that they believe wholeheartedly and indefinitely in God’s existence and power. Yet I found that, as amazing as my experiences on DTS were, it didn’t cement up any cracks in my faith. I think I now understand a little better why Jesus was frustrated by the demands of some around Him to be constantly performing miracles – faith does not grow out of witnessing the so-called impossible, but only through the experience of a personal relationship.

The outreach part of the DTS was a whole different kettle of fish. Although some of it involved the medical clinics we are familiar with, there was much more opportunity to meet with people personally and speak about God with them. However, this time also proved very testing for all of the students. Besides the material inconveniences of the outreaches we all had our own spiritual hurdles. Unfortunately growing closer to God does not mean an easier life, even when we are surrounded by other Christians. We are all still very far short from perfection and sometimes we need to address our habits, behaviours and attitudes. Never is it more obvious how your actions affect the group than when everybody is depending on each other and living in close quarters, and so we learnt some tough lessons in conflict resolution along the way too. Yet I suspect that nothing learned will go to waste – it would be delusional to imagine that we’ll never have to deal with personal differences again in our lives!

One very revealing part of this time is the realisation that, despite what I would have thought, I do not lean on God when I need Him most. I have a habit of bunkering in and trying to weather the storm, and only when it is passed do I turn to Him. Unfortunately by that point I am exhausted and downtrodden, and will have inevitably missed many opportunities in the process. So I need to learn to keep my eyes above the waves (see Dani’s last post!). Most importantly, though, is that through all of these trials and corrections there is a never-ending call to forgiveness and love that makes everything else seem achievable. God is not afraid to show us our failures and weaknesses but His ways are not about punishment – only redemption.